Wihoo. Dylan had a Birthday!!!

Lisa Simpson: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered? 
Homer Simpson: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness. 

So see, Dylan, there are worse things in life than your weasly old uncle forgetting your birthday blog entry. . .

I really am sorry and hope you had a great celebration and that this is the start of an awesome year for you.  I am so glad that you joined our family.  Best wishes and HAPPY LATE (D'OH!!) BUT BETTER THAN NEVER BIRTHDAY(WIHOOO)!!

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More notable Simpsons quotes I stole off the internet to snicker about:

[Santa's Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer all alone] 
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush. 
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it. 
Homer: D'oh.

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Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand? 
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up) 

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Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you p

lease ask her to pass me the syrup? 
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa. 
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product. 
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy? 
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. 
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart. 
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out. 
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said. 
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case. 
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to. 
Homer: Bart, go to your room. 
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Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo! 
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Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? 
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Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

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Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No. 
Homer: Ham? 
Lisa: No. 
Homer: Pork chops? 
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal. 
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal. 
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Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him. 
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Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel. 
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Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting? 
Homer: Don't you think you're *under*reacting? 
Lisa: This conversation is over. 
Homer: This conversation is *under*. 
Lisa: Goodbye. 
Homer: *bad*bye 
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Homer: Okay Marge, its your child against my child. The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore. 

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Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life? 
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries. 
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Homer: Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. 
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Homer: [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! 
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Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'."
Homer Simpson: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely." 
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Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down." 

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Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws! 
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Homer: If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement. 
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Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles. 
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Homer: You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine! 
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Homer: When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power ... like God must feel when he's holding a gun. 
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Homer: Oh Lisa, there's no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield. 
Lisa: Yes, but the records only go back to 1978 when the hall of records was mysteriously blown away. 
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Homer's Brain: Use reverse psychology. 
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated. 
Homer's Brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology. 
Homer: Okay, I will!